This goes out to all Grandparents out there as well, even though it’s parenting advice in general, grandparenting may be a full time job for you. So hopefully this article will benefit many. 🙂
Ahh, the famous, terrible two tantrum (pity party) lol
You’re at Walmart and your child is high-pitch wailing because he wants a specific toy. We’ve all been there! However, HOW we react to these violent, squirmy temper tantrums and the consequences we use is what matters.
When you’re at home with your child, how long do you let your toddler cry or scream? I say…let them throw a hissy fit and cry, kick and scream; for the majority of the time anyway. There will come a time where your child will be exhausted from the consistent wailing he or she is doing. Their voice will also get hoarse. LOL
Here’s the thing, IF you know they are not sick or running a temperature, or they are not hurt anywhere, or their diaper doesn’t need changing, and you know that they are not just screaming due to needing a nap, this parent/grandparent says, It’s not going to hurt them one bit. And they will soon figure out that you won’t jump every time they cry out for not getting their way, your child will eventually give up on testing you. And that’s exactly what they are doing! These days children are generally born more intelligent than years ago. They DO know exactly what buttons to push. 😉 It’s comical in a way when you think about it.
I’ve seen my grandson display a pretty bad pity party, and all the while watching his mom out of the corner of his eye; just to see what kind of reaction he will receive. And I sometimes can’t help but chuckle to myself. Now I DO know that’s definitely the WRONG thing to do, however like I said; I can’t help myself. And SHAME ON GRANDMA!! lol 😉
With all that said, I think you’re definitely onto my first tip; at least you should be!
#1 Let them cry their pity party out. Now, this should be the case for anywhere you may travel with your children. However, it’s rather embarrassing and just draws negative attention if you’re in a crowded store, at church, (or where ever you happen to be where there is a lot of people around). Your child will soon figure you out and know they won’t get their way
#2 Don’t laugh, and Grandma, that means ME!! When you laugh; that of course makes it 10 times worse! That should be common sense of course! lol
#3 Reward your children when they DON’T throw a pity party. And this doesn’t necessarily mean buying them candy or toys. You could take them out to their favorite place for lunch, or have them pick out the menu for dinner that night. Stickers work too! 🙂 Remember, kids LOVE stickers.
#4 Reverse psychology. This works sometimes when you’re at home with the kids. Especially while they are young. While they are crying, pretend to cry yourself. You MUST be a good actress with this technique Mom! LOL I mean, give it all you’ve got. And then see what happens. This worked for me when my son was very young. It also worked (for just a couple of times) with my grandson. He is VERY smart! When I pretended crying, he immediately stopped the wailing, (STRAIGHT FACE….LOL) and looked at me and said, “HUH?”
Well, you know what I did, don’t you? YES, I laughed, not good Grandma!! 😉 And guess what? My grandson was NOT laughing. He went back to his pity party. That goes to show that it DOES work if you can keep a straight face. 😉
#5 Ahh, spanking? Now this day and time, spanking is just un-heard of and also a moral sin in the eyes of my daughter-in-law! lol She bluntly says, “I just CAN’T be the bad guy!” However, she does use time out and that does indeed work for her…sometimes. 😉
There are a lot of parents that think that spanking is just wrong. They say, “You MUST NOT hit a child!” Well, from my old fashioned perspective, a good spanking on the back side is not considered hitting. It’s considered discipline. Now I’m not talking about spanking them so hard, your hands end up black and blue, or you break a blood vessel…that IS wrong! I feel a spanking doesn’t hurt them at all, unless it’s just a love pat that brings about laughter from your child while they run from you. And all you parents KNOW what I’m talking about! These love pats are totally ineffective. LOL
Time out IS an alternative to spanking however.
I’d love to hear other Moms and Grands opinions and perspectives on all the above! TY 🙂
You can read more of Tammy’s tips on parenting Here.