Grandma’s Depression Clouds – Stop Disrupting My Life!

This grandma puts on a happy face and swallows the dark cloud that remains over head many, many days. Most of my adult life, depression has been lurking about, trying to disrupt my life in various disguises. I don’t like talking about it, however, sometimes writing about it helps.

Most people that are close to me don’t really know this about me except my dear husband, simply because I don’t talk about it. He has always been so supportive and always tries to help in some way or another. Don’t get me wrong, I do have a lot of happy days too. So it’s not ALL doom and gloom. lol

However, recently with going through menopause, the depression has been more evident than usual. In fact the last few month has been hard for me. It’s hard to describe. Something just takes over me and it feels like a dark cloud just looms over my head and I can’t get rid of it. My workouts and keeping busy does help some. And I’m back with it once again this morning. This week is a new beginning for me. Last week I missed 3 days. A lot of times it’s so hard just getting myself out of bed.

Over this past weekend, there was a moment when I was alone in the house and I began to look around at all our home furnishings and family pictures. Do I really have a right to be depressed?! I mean, we’re certainly not rich by no means, but we are lucky to have what we have; a nice house, a nice car, our bills paid (although house taxes were rough this year), lol, and also able to go on various vacations. And I sure can’t leave out my grandson! What in the world do I have to be depressed about?? Just like this evening, the kids are coming over for supper. Am I looking forward to it? Yes! But when these happy times are over, I seem to get right back into this gloom and doom.

There are things in my childhood and teenage years that have happened that I’ve kept buried deep inside. Well, always except for telling my dear husband. There, I said it, but that’s where it stops! LOL My hubby always gets my dumps.

I ask myself why I have inherited my Father’s unfortunate genes?? He has suffered depression and anxiety for well over half his life. I’ve always said though; God has a reason for everything. I sure wish I knew what that reason was ahead of time so maybe these clouds can stop disrupting my life! However life don’t work that way though, does it?. 😉

God always gets me through another day.

Just a vent for the week!

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Tammy Embrich -- Full time work from home, writer, blogger, Avon representative, and LOVES playing with makeup. She is the proud grandmother of 2 wonderful grand blessings. You can visit Tammy at MakeUp Products Online .

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